so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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