Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
