drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
