i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
