So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
