Porn is love you can see.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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