It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
