she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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