I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
