Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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