Taylor Swift is so right about you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
