Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
