uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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