he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
