I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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