Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
