I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
