He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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