The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Send help, water and tortillas.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
