Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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