Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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