just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
