They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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