it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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