I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
