The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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