How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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