so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
