Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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