You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
