Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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