Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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