maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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