You can't motorboat a personality
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
