It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize