D3 body, D1 cock
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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