Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
