So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
