I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You've changed since you got that strap on
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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