Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Someone signed my nipple.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
