what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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