He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ttyl tear gas
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
