her vagine was all disorganized.
it's like iHOP with fire
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
