so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
