wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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