If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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