i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
