We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
