fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You are a genius and a whore.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
