I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have fence marks all over my body
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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