I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
