Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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