Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So here I am, sexting at work.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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