dude i'm inner monologue high
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
