I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
