Got a toothbrush?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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