The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
