Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
