i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
