She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
