So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
