i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
