in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
