apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
