If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
